they want some biscuits

I’m in the stage of my life when I really need to decide on what I want to do for the rest of my life. I guess its called a career or something. I have given it A LOT of thought and I have finally found out my true calling. I’m going to be a Super Hero. Now, I don’t have any super powers yet, but I was thinking maybe I could learn some witch craft or something. I’m going to call myself The Kickass Bitchass Puncher Chick. Basically, I’m going to go around and punch people. But only people who are doing bad things. Like, if some jerk steps on a caterpiller, I will punch him or her. I’m going to bust out the punch of death. Never before seen. I’ve secretly been working on it. You are not allowed to hit me back, though. You can’t hit a super hero, are you insane?

I realize I talk an awful lot about poop. I should have named my blog, they want some poop, but I didn’t. I don’t know why I talk so fondly of it. I don’t love it. Most of the time its stinky, but I also find it so amusing. It keeps me entertained I guess. I mean just say it. Poop. Turd. I’m laughing right now just typing it. You can call me immature if you want. I like to call it ‘being real’ because everyone poops. Why not just realize that pooping is totally awesome (as well as being super funny). Get in touch with your inner poop, people!
A couple of my male friends are very “conservative” if you will, about girls pooping. I was hanging out with a bunch of my friends and I don’t remember how we got onto the subject of pooping, but we did. One of my guy friends said, “Girls don’t poo.” And I made the awesome remark of, “Yes we do. In fact, I took a shit at YOUR house the other day.” He was very disturbed. That really bugs me though. I know he doesn’t REALLY believe that girls don’t take massive poops, but he tries to think we don’t. WHY? I don’t get it!
Anyway, I’m so of track of what I really wanted to say. This afternoon I took my dog, Abby, for a walk. Not only does she eat her own poop, she eats other dog turds too. At least she did today. I wonder if I took a poop in the back yard, if she would eat that as well? Maybe I should give that a try.

My mom told me this hilarious story the other day. She was riding in my dad's car with him when they approached some train tracks. There was a train crossing, so naturally they stopped and waited for the train to pass and the lights to stop blinking. While they waited I think they were making out, but my mom said she saw something really funny. On the side of one of the train cars it said, I 'heart' poop. My mom thought that a homeless man or woman spray painted that on the side of the car he or she lived in. Which is super funny, BUT! I have a different theory. Obviously its graffiti. So, obviously it was painted on by the I.L.P.G.! The I Love Poop Gang! You know, from the West side. I've heard about them. I've actually tried to join them but I wasn't "hardcore" enough. Anyway, it was totally them! And I'll tattle again you heartless bastards!